Saturday, October 22, 2011

You Say Tomato....I Say Tomahto!

     Mr. Wug and I have been married for more than 29 years now, and we were together 4 years before we were married. So, let's just say we've got a lot of years of communicating under our belts! But.......and it's a big BUT!...we have never communicated in the same way!
     Just as a little background, I grew up with tons of siblings,  and we communicated all the time!!!... it wasn't always productive communication! LOL But hubby's growing up household was COMPLETELY different!

     Mrs Wug: "How would you describe your household growing up, Bae?"

Mr. Wug: "It was sorta like living in a house full of acquaintances, nobody saying too much, and every once in a while...when the moon was full...there would be some sort of conjunction with the planets and everybody would be talking and playing games!...But that would last a 'hot second', until someone got either angry or bored!"

     So, needless to say, this contributed to both of us learning different communication skills. And those skills have progressed and changed over the years...When I (Mrs. Wug)  was young I wanted to keep the communication to a minimum. That way there was no chance for me to get in trouble!! So I was sorta like a timid squirrel...
      "Ooooo! I didn't do it! I'm gonna be over here, under the bed. See you later!" :-)) And then later on I became a 'fraidy cat'!...
     I barely wanted to talk at all!!....I know! Hard to believe, isn't it! LOL
       But hubby...was a Mama's boy...
     He was the oldest child in his house, and he didn't need much way of words I mean. All he had to do was 'hint around' dropping his clothes on the floor and walking away (his mom figured out that they needed washing, and she did), or standing in the middle of the kitchen floor when he was hungry (and his mom figured out that he was she would fix him something!).
      Mostly this was because he had asthma and was sick a lot of the time. His mom gave him a lot of special treatment because of it...And he says he thinks his brothers were jealous. Can you hear the crickets?!....There was a lot of quiet in his house! ^_^
      So, you get Mrs. Wug, from a loud 'chattery chattery' household, together with Mr. Wug, from 'low-key central', and what do you get?!...
     You get two little communication turtles, with hard shells, and carrying a lot of baggage...who love each other, but have a little issue with learning how to communicate!
      If the subject matter is sports we are simpatico!... :-)
      (Amigurumi pattern from pepika)
     Mrs. Wug: "Do the Denver Broncos have new uniforms again?!!"

Mr. Wug: "Yeah. They had 'em for a couple of years now!"

     Mrs. Wug: "Are all the teams changing uniforms, because I saw the Green Bay uniforms the other day and they looked like we were back in the 1930s!"

Mr. Wug: "Ha! Ha! Well, I think the leagues are doing throw-back uniforms for special games."

        When it comes to food?...
Yikes...the issues!! Because of my health conditions the last few years, hubby has been the one that does most of the cooking and shopping. Because of his being a pastry-loving, junk and processed food eating nut!, we have had no end of 'conversations'...well, let's call it what it is...fights!...about his eating habits and his lack of wanting to cook anything that might take more time than hitting a microwave button!! ^_^
    Of course he would say: 

Mr. Wug: "I have become a good cook! I learned how to know the exact buttons to push to keep things warm, and I can time it just right between two microwaves. And I know how long it takes to boil an egg...But what I can't figure out is what Mrs. Wug wants for lunch!...All I hear is 'This don't taste right!...Did you put 'so-and-so' in it?!...It don't taste like it!' LOL"

     Mrs. Wug: "WHATEVER!!!!" ^_^

     But when there are serious issues that have to be talked about, this is where the communication between us really gets tested! I (Mrs. Wug) am a 'Black Bear communicator'!
       (Black Bear by Puzzimals)
I stand my ground. I can be aggressive when I think I'm right. And I'm very, very wordy!!...Hubby is a 'turtle communicator'!...
        (Sea Turtle by HamjArt)
      When a subject is on the table he usually is in 'defensive, protect-your-outer-shell' mode! I do all of the talking....wait for the response that never comes (it's tucked in there somewhere, inside the shell! LOL)...wait some more....and then when I say just the wrong thing......'SNAPPING TURTLE' pops his head out, says a few lines, and then retreats again!.....UGH!
        You don't know how many 'conversations' we have had over the years about these very kinds of 'conversations'!!!...In fact, because my style of communication is to talk....and then to talk some more, and if that doesn't talk a lot more and a lot faster...hubby's communication style has many different facets too!
       He listens for a while and then starts yawning...
....I think this is a learned response from his 'hinting abilities' as a child! LOL Of course he would say:

Mr. Wug: "I is a learned behavior. And with all of the wordiness I just want it to STOP!! I prefer conversation like a blitz in football...quick and fast! Say what the problem is, express your feelings, acknowledge it, say I understand or apologize, and then it's over with!"

     Mrs. Wug: "Yeah! And if any of those responses...acknowledgement, expression of feelings, or apologies...actually happened, I wouldn't be talking so much...or for so long!...with crickets in the room every time I stopped talking!! LOL"

      But if the hint of yawning doesn't work, hubby also has another tactic...
         (Bear wood by Puzzimals)
...Complete silence!! He waits until all talk stops...or he says something that totally distracts the conversation... "Look! A bird!"...Then he wanders off to another room and emerges, usually, with food! ^_^ How we even still talk to each other is a mystery!! LOL
      But, even saying all of this, these times of lack of, or no, communication is rare! Most of the time we're talking. And talking about everything!!
      We've done this since we were dating. :-)

     Mrs. Wug: "Do you remember when we were dating? How we used to call each other and talk for hours?! We even fell a sleep a few times, and woke up the next morning yelling into the phone to wake the other one up?! LOL"

Mr. Wug: "Yeah, we were silly back then. :-] But we really opened up to each other, didn't we?!"

     Mrs. Wug: "We sure did. :-)"

Mr. Wug: " I remember us just sitting in front of the house in the car, talking about stuff...Going for rides in the car, talking about stuff...Breaking up and then getting back together, and talking about stuff! ^_^"

     Mrs. Wug: "Yeah, I remember a certain multiple choice gift I got one year around Christmas...back when we used to celebrate Christmas! I couldn't believe that when I was thinking this was the year I would get an engagement ring, I ended up having to choose which gift I would get, and ended up with the same gift that you gave my sister!...I was so hurt!!"

Mr. Wug: "Yeah, I remember that. :-( I really didn't want to show my feelings back then because I wasn't SURE of yours."

     Mrs. Wug: "Yeah, I know...But I think you were just not a very good gift giver back then... ^_^ Oh! The things I have gotten!!! Ha! Ha!...Besides nice gifts like chocolates and a beautiful etched jewelry box I mean. I've gotten an electric fingernail dryer, a huge 4-foot blue 'Smurf', and a silk rose from '7-Eleven' for an anniversary gift!!!"

Mr. Wug: "Ummmmm...I don't wanna talk about that!" LOL

  (Let's call the whole thing off...Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong)


  1. You two are funny...LOL... I just think its a man thing cause my husband and I are about the same way as you two. I think culture also has to do with some of the dynamics also. Have a Great Day!!!!!!!

  2. SnowflakeDreams1, ^_^ We're sure you're right about some of it being cultural. We're just thankful that we've had some biblical guidance over the years to help us work our way through some of the things we had strong opinions on! It kinda takes the wind out of your 'arguing sail' when you're not arguing with a human, but listening to God!! ^_^ Have a good rest of the weekend, Velma!

  3. How funny! I used to call my husband "turtle". Thanks so much for featuring my hugging turtles.


  4. button, It was our pleasure! :-) Thank you for letting us share it!...Tell 'Turtle' we said hi too! ^_^

  5. Very interesting! Love the idea!
    Thank you so much for including me here!

  6. Marina, We're glad you enjoyed it! And it was our pleasure to share it! :-)

  7. I'm glad my little turtles are part of this interesting story:)

  8. Sanda, We're glad they are too! :-] Thank you!

  9. Isn't it amazing how you just take your communication style and upbringing for granted until you live with someone that wasn't raised by your parents!

    We have had many years of communication 'challenges' (and birthday/anniversary gift challenges as well). The one thing I learned is to just lay down the groundwork for gifts - I make very specific lists with sketches! When it comes to communication, what I've learned is to bounce back quickly from any disputes or arguments. Make your points, make your apologies and move on.

    But...that took some time to do!!!

    What a fun story guys!

  10. Lisa, Mr. Wug says: "I like her!...What a fabulous point about making your point and moving on!! :-)"...

    Mrs. Wug says: "Hmmmm...lay down the groundwork for gifts! ^_^ Nice idea, but it never worked in our house. By the time an anniversary came up he would forget what I said and couldn't find the diagrams! LOL"

    Thanks soooo much Lisa. You made both of us giggle. CLEARLY you've been married a while too! ^_^

  11. Communication is an art (I think) that has to be learned these days. The Bible has definitely helped us with that because we had (and still have) struggles with that. Like you, I am wordy and pour my heart out about everything!! Sometimes I wonder if I overdo it. Hubby on the other hand, knows he should be a better communicator (he's told me so), and is always working on it. And as you said, in the beginning it's a learning process for both parties.
    You guys seem to get along so well! You like to tease and joke with each other, but can still be serious when needed. (we're like that too). So I think for communication you should get an A!

    Mr.'ve come along way "bae!" LOL

  12. CinLynn, How right you are, Bead! It's an art...and anyone that gets good at it have used up a lot of canvases!! LOL...Mr. Wug agrees with you whole-heartedly about how Bible principles helps tremendously! He says it's made him talk about things, and at times, when he didn't really want to...He liked the 'Bae' reference too! ^_^ ...And I say that if it wasn't for the teasing and joking about things sometimes it would have been a lot worse!! I think that may be one of the secrets to a happy marriage...'don't take yourself too serious'! Not everything is life-altering, even if your hyped-up emotional brain tells you it is! LOL

  13. Well, after 7 years married I understand that communication is a good thing.
    I see the changes here. I like it.

  14. PriscilaPetersDecor, ^_^ How right you are!! Communication is a big KEY to keeping it together!...Thanks for sharing with us! :-]


Please leave us your thoughts. We'd love to hear them!