Mr. Telephone Man!

(Retro Vintage Orange Rotary Telephone from jazzlipsvintage)

Mr. Wug: Have you seen my phone?!

          Mrs. Wug: Not again!! O_O

Mr. Wug: I put it down the other day to do something...and now I can't find it!! O_O

          Mrs. Wug: Ugh!!! I'm so tired of you always looking for that phone!! Why don't you put it in the same place every time you come in the house?!...We used to have the little wooden thing in the kitchen where you left your keys. Why don't you put your phone there?! Ugh!!

Mr. Wug: Because it's near the stove! I'm afraid it'll melt!

          Mrs. Wug: If only we could be so fortunate as to have it melt!! LOL

Mr. Wug: I know you'd like that!! :-] But then how are you gonna call me when you need me?!...Besides, whenever I'm sitting somewhere I like to play games on it.

          Mrs. Wug: Games?!...IT'S A PHONE!...not a game boy!!!

Mr. Wug: Ha! Ha! Ha!...You're so funny!....Just help me find the phone...PLEASE!

          Mrs. Wug: Did you try calling it?!

Mr. Wug: No...because I think I turned it off.

          Mrs. Wug: Yeah, but even if it's turned off it still makes noise, doesn't it?! I mean, when it's on buzzer it moves all around on the table until it flings itself off onto the floor! ^_^ Try calling it....and see if it falls onto the floor somewhere! ^_^

Mr. Wug: Okayyyy...but I don't think it's gonna work!...*dials the cell phone*...

          Mrs. Wug: I think I hear something in the other room?! Check the other bedroom.

*Mr. Wug walks around in the other bedroom and then comes out*

Mr. Wug: Dial it again! I think I heard it. It's not in the other bedroom though. I think it's in the living room somewhere.

*Mrs. Wug dials the cell phone again while hubby walks stalkingly from room to room*

Mr. Wug: Dial it again!!

          Mrs. Wug: Ugh!!...*dials again*...This is so annoying!!!!

Mr. Wug: YAY! I found it!! :-) ...*Big smile on his face*

          Mrs. Wug: Finally!...And by the way, why don't you have it on ring anyway! That would save both of us a lot of time!! I could be crocheting now, instead of thinking of ways to destroy telephones!!

Mr. Wug: I don't have it on 'ring' because one of my 'pet peeves' is phones going off and ringing in public places where it should be off!!

         Mrs. Wug: Yeah....well, one of "MY" pet peeves is calling you to have you bring something home that I forgot, and you not answering your phone!!!!...So what are we gonna do about this?! O_O

Mr. Wug: Fine! I'll put it on 'ring' from now on...*He plays with the settings until some funky music starts playing*...There you go!

          Mrs. Wug: What do you mean 'There you go'?! Is that the phone?! O_O

Mr. Wug: Yeah!

          Mr. Wug: Why does it sound like the radio?! O_O

Mr. Wug: Isn't that cool?!

          Mrs. Wug: Cool?!....No!! A phone is suppose to sound like A PHONE!! I mean, how many people would hear that music and think: "Hey! Your phone's ringing!".....NOBODY!! It sounds like a funky dance party or something! LOL...What is it with phone companies anyway! Why do they put all of these ring tones and stuff on the phone?...so people can set their phones up to NOT sound like a phone?!! What ever happened to the simple sound of a phone ringing?!!!

Mr. Wug: That's the attraction of a phone...to make it sound like something other than a phone! ^_^ But if it's a simple ring that you want...*he plays with the settings again*...There you go. Dial it now!

*Mrs. Wug dials the cell phone AGAIN!!*...

           Mrs. Wug: Ahhhhhh! NOW it sounds like a phone! :-) ... So, when you hear the ringing, pick it up, will Ya! Your wife may be on the line! ^_^

Mr. Wug: That's 'if' I remember to take it with me. ^_^

          Mrs. Wug: UGH!!